uncovered lies

2011-04-12T13:44:00.003+08:00

You know the feeling when you do a kicker frontside 360 after popping,

when you bend down for that handle pass, you're on axis and you actually look down to see that you're really high up from the water and you're literally parallel to the ground.

God, thats crazy..I have no idea whatsoever that I'm capable to do such a thing.

That feeling is beyond uhhh-mazing!

I'm pretty sure trying to land a tantrum will do more justice, we'll see we'll see..

2011-03-31T00:27:00.003+08:00

The less you give a fuck, the happier you will be.

No kidding!

n-dubz we dance on (on repeat)

2010-10-06T23:37:00.002+08:00

When you asked for a break up,
all my nerves in my body snapped and my world shattered to the ground.
You have no idea how much you mean to me.
No fucking idea!

2010-09-30T23:51:00.002+08:00

It's kinda weird, that this blog have been left dead and gone, yet people come by to stop and read, no?

I felt at ease, when I type down my most inner deepest thoughts here.
Ironic isn't it? What can an online diary give you?

You know the saying "truth hurts but lying is worse"?
Apparently I've been trying to live up to that quote.
But truth be told, I think I'm not ready to handle honesty yet.
I mean as much as I appreciate someone telling me how disappointing I behave.
I'm sure I wouldn't want to listen to all of it at one go.
Yes being direct is way better than beating around the bush, but how far can you go?
and how much more of it can you listen and absorb?
Truth hurts every ounce of it. And sometimes as much as I hate liars, I felt like believing the lie instead of the truth. At least I'm comforted by them, but then again i'm risking to get hurt in the future.

sigh, so bloody messed up.
you get what I mean?

2010-07-12T00:43:00.002+08:00

Too little time for me to get myself kick start back to work tomorrow.

Fcuking nb cb.

Why can't holidays last a tad more longer?
Hate it when reality sets in.

2010-07-04T23:24:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.

Well technically, 10 july.
Hope the weather is good at manila.

Off to sleep. Have to wake up pretty early..
*yawns*

2010-07-04T00:37:00.003+08:00

Parents spend the first part of their lives teaching us to walk and
talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

p.s: Philippines on monday morning.

2010-06-24T16:03:00.003+08:00

As much as I don't want to admit it,
but what irfan khan state on his status on fb yesterday was absoeffingly fcuking true.
That," Girls are unfathomable..U do something..Its wrong..U do the other option..its also wrong...And the best thing is..They dont even know which option they want... -_-
Such irony."

But another fact is after an argument,
girls tend to push boys away,
just because we need at least 3/4 minutes of our own time alone,
to calm ourfcukingself down,
before we want our boy to pacify us with much love, care & concern.
It's second nature.

Sort of how the world goes around, no?

xo

2010-06-23T20:32:00.001+08:00

I thought we're going strong,
but I was wrong.
I thought we're going to last,
but that was just the past.

I'm trying to make sense of what is left of us.

p.s: I'm just saying....

2010-06-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm back from tioman.
And am not liking it.

I want a laid back life at the beach and not care about anything.
Just sun, sand and the sea.
What more could I ask for?

Off to sleep.
Goodnight

2010-06-18T15:35:00.004+08:00

I feel like drowning myself with medication and just sleep.
Sleep like nothing happen.
So if tomorrow, I wake up and feel pathetic at least, there's something to look forward to.
Then when night falls, I'm going to drown myself with more medication.
I think i'm not going to get well any sooner, so let this be a phase for now.

Atleast, I can sleep peacefully which I have always been wanting to since weeks ago.

sigh, my head is spinning.

So I hate you
(But the love you gave me was so so good)
So I love you
(But the pain you gave me was so so bad)

p.s: I can't take it anymore.

2010-06-16T23:40:00.003+08:00

I want to be a mechanic and work on cars and pimp them up in a garage.
Or probably a motor cross racer, cos I like to get it down and dirty =p
But that's just dreams.
Dreams you know that never meant to be....

On another note,
can I quit being sick?
Like seriously I'm sick of getting sick.
I hope I'll be fine by friday night.
Going off to Tioman with the family.Yay! Retreat!

I miss this two, badly =(

2010-06-15T15:33:00.003+08:00

I miss all the little things you do for me.
Now it becomes such a rarity that I have to actually ask you for it.
Sigh..

And I'm sick, i'm fcuking sick and I hate the feeling.
Had giddiness on friday,
saturday I was fine,
down with the itch on sunday,
and now this on monday and tuesday.

Ahhh *groans*

2010-06-13T19:06:00.003+08:00

It's already been 3 effing days that I can't sleep properly.
& my body start to itch like I'm allergic to something.
*groans*

The team played extremely well during yesterdays match even though we lost big time.
They put their ego aside and motivate and encourage each other.
Only some choose to think they're better than the rest
and there goes the complains about how pathetic the other team mate play.
Truth be told, you're not that good either.

But I kinda like the feeling when we scored a goal,
its like as if we won the entire competition, the environment was awhhhhsum!

2010-06-12T00:21:00.004+08:00

I feel like there's something missing.

I see you change and its affecting me.
we're not the same anymore.

p.s: where have us been? seems like we're dying

2010-06-11T15:57:00.004+08:00

I hate the feeling when you can't sleep the day before,
and you wake up feel all sorry for yourself, all sore up and weak and groggy.

fucktup feeling.

cb, wheres apit? it's been a very long while.

p.s: you know what i missed, you carrying me around, swinging me and pretend that was the best days of our lives and nothing could ever top that. we're not that type of people anymore.
we change, and this is another stupid feeling.

2010-06-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

Work was dreadful.
it was a fcuking wrong day to piss me off.
Thanks to whoever who make it worse.

really thanks.

2010-06-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

Today I had a plan,
to go out with my friends.
& I told them,
I will only be up at 11 am.
To my despair,
I sleep in till 12.30 unaware.

I received a number of text messages,
asking what I'm up to.
So I said fret not,
I'll be there to watch a movie with you.
But the weather was very cooling,
dull and hazy.
My mind kept changing,
and I start to get lazy.
I already tried a number of clothes on,
trying to get ready.
When I'm finally done,
I told them I'm not coming.
I wanted to head to the library instead,
and get myself a book.
But my plan was all ruin,
cos the weather made me hook.
So I sat at home,
stuffing myself with ice cream,
clean my room,
glued some shells,
and did some facebook.

The end =)

p.s: working tomorrow at b2, t3 airport,
someone please drop by and make my work worthwhile.

2010-06-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

I'll be sleeping in good tonight.
Free of arguments, plenty good dreams to dream about.
Hoping the rain will keep on going till late at night.

Went to cycling at ecp with the boy and his youngest sister.
It amazed me how they look so cute cycling side by side together,
before they came crumbling down when the two bikes collided.
That's a good work out, spend with two of my favorite people.

=)

2010-06-06T15:33:00.002+08:00

It comes to a point when I don't really know what to do anymore.
I'm really tired of not sleeping because of arguing.
Really tired...

I wish I was a recorder, so I can pause the great moments, fast forward the arguments and stop the pain.

2010-06-06T02:10:00.003+08:00

Fcuking cheebs my leg hurts like crazy.
From now onwards, I shall cool down after training and matches.

I wouldn't want to walk in pain again.
sigh

p.s: i dont understand why guys make it so easy to forget things, about what they say or do in the past like it had never affected their lives.
If you know the formula, teach me because i'm willing to learn.

p.p.s: never make a decision when you're angry, never make a promise when you're happy.

2010-06-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm tired, when can I get my 12 hours of sleep?

Like PRONTO..

2010-05-30T21:20:00.003+08:00

Driving out for the first time make my knees wobble like jello.
And a.f.m is the first few people to experience a ride with me alone.
I manage to find my way around places, not bad I say.
I'm kinda impressed on my progress.
Usually I suck on directions and tend to get my friends and myself lost..
Theres always a first time for everything yes?

Went out to changi beach to chill.
Obviously, somebody didnt know that changi beach exist. -_-"
And I saw a hot pink fireblade with gold rims.
I almost want to pee in my pants with the paint work.
Hot Pink fireblade is THE SEX!

Had to work at vss tomorrow.
Here we go, one more week of freelance design.
I hope everything's gonna be alright.

Bb coming home soon tomorrow!

Off to bathe, dinner and knocking off early.
G'night world!

2010-05-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

Such an insanely crappy day.
Despite the win of Pasirian against Skools.
I honestly dislike, loathe how the team is doing in the league.
I seriously don't fcuking understand why is there so many politics,
in a team.
& how annoying it is when the captain ask to open up about
why people are unhappy about the team, but no one have the bloody
guts to even speak up.
Instead continue bitching about each others back during the game.

I can see that the team is breaking up.
But somehow theres a tiny hope wishing all these people could put
their damn ego aside, their differences and try to make things work for the team.
In 2 weeks time, we're going to go against the champs of last yr.
Its either now or never..

Putting that shitty feeling aside,
After my game and pinkies, my cousin and i and her bf went off for lunch by the beach.
It was nice talking about basically everything under the sun.
And the beach reeks of oil spills.
Urgh.

p.s: Super paranoid.

2010-05-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

I felt like I was trapped in a glass cell at work just now.
I have to entertain kids at the event site and repeat the instructions over & over again.
Don't get me wrong I love kids, but dislike handling too many.
It was a hell of a busy day at airport today.
Thank god I'll be in the office the whole week, next week.
Amen to that.

Sadly, bf called when I'm at work.
Felt pathetic that I have to put down so fast due to the huge crowd.
*heave a fcuking huge sigh ok*

Need some sleep,
tomorrow will be my 2nd Div 1 match against skools.

Goodnight.

2010-05-27T21:44:00.004+08:00

I was made to calculate a floor plan at work just now.
Its disgust me because theres too many numbers.
And I really hate dealing with 3D max.
Not that I'm not good with numbers, I ace my maths back in 4 yrs.
Fcuk that was long!

Is it me or is the weather super hot these days.
I can't sleep with the humidity.The fan is facing directly on my face,
if that can't be enough, I spend most of my days sleeping in my
bra and shorts only.
And I always got a tone darker after coming back from lunch at work.
Guys, I think its time to save the earth.
Let's go green, before we all die of humidity.

Met the boys back at the neighbourhood.
Been awhile since I see them.
Don't really know when was the last time we sat down
and talk crap most of the time.
I think the hot topic will be ns, saf suck, cd also, bikes, accidents, more accidents, cars.
Thank god I knew stuff, imagine hanging out and you got nothing to talk about, like screw guys topic kinda thing let's talk about barbies.

I find bro glasses, kinky nak mampos.

Off to clean myself with cold water.

p.s: finally heard news back at phuket, good to hear you're doing fine.
p.p.s: tomorrow is going to be a hell of a long day.

2010-05-26T21:56:00.004+08:00

I'm going to post an entry now and then for bf,
so that he won't have a hard time figuring out what I did while his out
enjoying himself at Phuket.

Today, at work, I had a pretty long lunch.
Boss brought us to The Orchard Hotel Cafe for lunch.
The food was not bad, especially the salmon sashimi, sushis and the bread pudding.
It was a well worth lunch buffet and a time to catch up with my colleagues.

Not much designing to do today, thank god, wasn't in any mood.
What's interesting is that I overheard my boss talking about the girl his dating.
He said he wanted to make her his gf, in the most memorable way possible.
And how they got together, was somewhat the same between me and the boy.
Manage to put a smile on my face. heh

I really can't wait for my boracay trip in July.
I went to do some research on the place as well as trying to find a hotel to stay in.
I fell in love with boracay even before I step into that place.
It's gorgeous beyond words.
But thats gonna take another month. sigh.

I miss him already, and its only been a few hours.
Wonder whats his doing there...
Come home soon bb..

p.s: Had to work freelance for vss again next week.
Oh well, orang kate rezeki takmo tolakkan..

2010-05-22T01:06:00.002+08:00

Time flew so fast.

Thanks to all that have made my poly life a memorable and a fruitful one.

You're never forgotten. infinite x's & o's!

p.s: Tomorrow is the start of singapore floorball league.
Pasirians against SMU.
I need my sleep.

2010-05-20T02:34:00.002+08:00

Screw emo post I have these pass few days.
Everything is fine now, be it with whoever.

I just realise the drama in fb make my stats grew higher.
I didn't know people are so nosy.
But thanks for your concern.

p.s: it takes a whore to know one.

2010-05-19T03:17:00.001+08:00

I think I should just go study in aussie and disappear for 3 years,
I don't feel like I'm any use in singapore.
All I do best is hurt the ones I love.

2010-05-19T02:10:00.003+08:00

I just wish nenek is fine.
I wish shes able to walk to me, advise me and tell me everything is okay.
Hug me like she use to whens nobody here for me.

Now, she's just lying on her bed, not knowing she can never walk again.
I feel like going to her by her bed and just sulk and cry.

I finally told mum, how I felt about her and dad.
You know what's fucktup, when parents give you opinions its called advised.
When we give them opinions its called kurang ajar.
My mum now thinks, I don't regard her as my mum anymore.

Honestly I'm lost.
I don't know whats happening.
My big day is on friday.
My parents and me are not doing so good.
The only one person that believe I can go far, gave up on me.

Now who wants to watch me walk that aisle?
You know what, screw it, I don't feel like going.

2010-05-18T16:11:00.003+08:00

I feel like I got no one to go to when I have problems anymore.
My parents don't believe in me.
My one closed friend, is going through heart breaks.
I don't have a bf anymore.
Thats more like it right?

& I don't feel like going through my graduation anymore.

2010-05-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Running never felt so good before.
I'm so upset just now, I kept clenching my fist,
trying to keep everything inside.
Despite my efforts, tears keep trickling down my cheeks,
while I make my rounds in ecp.

I hate the fact, that my parents treat me like i'm still their 2 yr old baby.
They never seem to let me go do stuff because they're afraid i'll screw up.
Well, pardon me, screwing up is a way to live, thats life.
Doesn't mean they're not a risk taker, I have to be like them.

& I also hate the fact that my ex thinks that everything is fine between us.
Wtf mofo, do you have any idea what you did to me last time?
Any effing idea?
Like how you threw me on the bushes, in front of people.
Like how you kept pushing me to the wall?
Like how you pour that can of sprite all over me.
How you call most guys in my cell, just to make sure I'm not contacting them.
Well fuck you, if you think everything is fine!
Can't believe you even have the chic to say let by gones be by gones.
If a video was taken on that day, I bet tons of guys would wanna slap your face
and kick you in the ass.
I just wish I kick your balls earlier that time so no fathers day for you.
Moron. GFAD!

p.s: I don't feel like I have a dad anymore, just another man living in the same house as me.
Yes, I had that in mind since years ago.

2010-05-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

I like the fact that I can eat a whole lot of junk food,
without worrying getting fat.
=)

I wanted to go for a jog so bad today,
but sadly due to the weather I end up sitting under a block,
near a canal with my favourite boy making fun of each other,
with the wind blowing through our hairs.
Nice.
The best 15 minutes of my life!

p.s: "kan" or not? hahahah (inside joke)

2010-05-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

I think my graduation dress, is pretty.
Can't wait to flaunt it.

Goodnight

2010-05-14T15:27:00.002+08:00

Relationship can be so hard sometimes.
It's like working up a sweat but without working out.
Know what I mean?
I'm really sick & tired arguing with bf right now,
due to mindless things, paranoia & insecurities.
I think I have myself to blame this time round.
Here I am admitting it in public, setting my ego aside.
sigh

Yesterday, sentosa outting with alia, did not go as plan.
And I really hate last min cancellations but at least,
I got to meet the boy after a pretty long while.

Head of to Marina bay sands if thats what they call it.
And boy isn't he a noob riding up the new bridge.
Secretly, I was quite excited myself. hahaha

Anyhoos, work schedule for the event at the airport is up.
Division 1 floorball league schedule is also up.
I guess I'm going to be dead busy after graduation,
with floorball & work commitments.
I hope everything ends well. Must be prepared for an emotional
roller coaster ride.
*held my hands and pray to god*

2010-05-13T00:27:00.003+08:00

I want to go on more holidays.
Because reality sucks.
I'm very much content with how I'm doing right now.
I got myself a part-time job, doing freelance design, travelling...
Had time for shopping, had good quality time with mum.
I thank god for that, I really do.

But I'm never satisfied with the amount of time I had with azri.
Never!

Why you so busy nowadays?
Can't you just see I want you for myself?
Yes, I'm selfish that way, so be it. I bet some days you feel the same way too.
Some days you feel I choose you instead of floorball.
Some days you feel I stay in singapore more often than travelling.
Some days, you wish I put aside some of my friends for you.
Right?

2010-05-07T21:07:00.001+08:00

Off to KL for a shopping trip with mum.
Will be back by monday night.
A well needed getaway after working hard for a month plus.
=)

p.s: a.f.m, do tc of yourself. xoxo

2010-05-05T23:12:00.001+08:00

I wish I had more time to spend with you....

I didn't know how much I miss you till I see you today..

Goodnight!

2010-05-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

I miss the boy & his wr4....

2010-05-03T00:12:00.003+08:00

I've been cranky lately.
Because I've been longing for one good long sleep since 3 days ago.
But can never do so, due to work.

So long goodbye to 13 hours of shift work at airport.
& hello to 1 week of freelance back at visual studio.

Anyhoos,
It's our 9 monthsary as of 3 may.
I wish I could say more, but I'm just too tired to do so.Love Love Azri Azman =)

Today is Monday & I can't wait for weekends already.
The same feeling I had back when I was an intern.

Because, I is going to KL with mummy =)

Goodnight my lovely readers.
Xoxo to you....

2010-05-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

IF LOVE IS SURRENDER, WHOSE WAR IS IT ANYWAY?
YOURS OR MINE?

2010-04-30T23:56:00.002+08:00

I can do so much better.

Some things are just much more important to priortize these days.
Like my sleep and sanity than wasting my time arguing with people,
who doesn't gives a shit.

p.s: See if I can survive one whole week of work, with no breaks.

2010-04-29T00:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Mum and Dad,

I would like you both to stop treating me like a kid.
I'm turning to an adult soon, and dislike it when you keep checking on me.
You ask me to grow up, get a job and pay my own bills.
Why not, you grow up and move on and realise that i'm no longer your
little girl anymore.

Thank you for your kind understanding.

Yours sincerely,
Your very annoyed daughter.

p.s: sometimes I wish I could say this in front of them, but I never had the guts too.
I'm sure this pains them, if I say it loud & clear.

Off to sleep, got 13 hours of job to do.
Goodnight!

2010-04-27T21:22:00.002+08:00

Among all the pandemonium and all the madness,
I manage to find peace and calmness today afternoon, with mum.
Head off to the spa, had a full body massage and scrub.
Now, I officially smell like orange. mmmm...

& a good dinner at House of soto.

2010-04-27T02:35:00.002+08:00

The more you brag about how great you are, the more you look like a clown

I have always wanted to say this to one particular person, but I doubt he even know.

2010-04-27T00:27:00.005+08:00

Should we do what we think is right, or what we wanted all along?

To continue working part time as an events company to earn money to travel or
to work as a graphic designer full time to build up portfolio to enter university?

I don't wanna grow up, because growing up has too many responsibilities.
I wanna be a kid & eat lollies & fcuk care the world.

Shit, i'm turning 20 this year.

Mum says, this is life, learn how to grow up.

2010-04-24T02:17:00.001+08:00

Best friend, what have you done?
Wasting your life, for something which you think is worth it,
but its not.
You make it look like a desperate move.

Why? Why must you do it?
Its emotionally painful, I thought you would have done better.

2010-04-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

When I put on the grad robe, look up to the mirror,
I couldn't believe how fast 3 years have past so fast.
Multiple flashbacks came gushing in then disappear.
I almost want to cry...I can't hold back any longer.

Friends will stay only for a while then all will go on separate
ways and live their own lives. Old friends will be forgotten
and meet new ones but only some will remain. I hope the close
ones will always be near and never leave.

Seems to me, time flew so fast.
Everybody is growing and leaving.

All left are now memories, that will keep close to the heart.
I'm going to miss TP.
I'm going to miss Design school, ITAS, Wolves, the clan, everything.
Every single thing that change me, for the past 3 years.
And I'm glad I survive and make it happen.

Thank you god.

2010-04-22T01:49:00.003+08:00

Terminal 3 was almost dead & gone today.
The environment was so dull,
I almost feel like doing cart wheels on the empty space,
just to cure boredom & restlessness.

Today, some staff in the airport want to launch a complain at me,
because she say my service was bad.
Why? Cos I only issue her one free gift, and she wanted more.
Note to the public: the free gift, is a mini tiger stuff toy with magnets.
Why she wanted more? I have no freaking idea, I think she's deprived.
She said I was stingy.
She wanted everything that looks nice on the booth, the pen, the pen holder..
I think the computer also she want, maybe the mouse with the blinking light.
Secondly, because I told her, her name was too long to put in the card,
and can't fit and she blame me for it?
WTF sia woman? Your name too long my fault is it?
Bunch of annoyance!
It's either that I'm stingy or you're just plain greedy, for a woman that age and you want a lot of stuff toys? if can, I give you the whole bloody box, waste my time trying to tell you that I can only issue one per customer...

And I had a customer, whose name is winky, yes winky.
And his a guy.

-_-"

2010-04-19T18:12:00.001+08:00

Today, my supervisor ask me to be back for lunch after 30 mins.
I was late 10 mins and she make a fuss out of it.
When she went out to lunch at transit, she took almost an hour.

Baik ah..

2010-04-18T22:34:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is monday blues indeed.
Working 12 hours straight....
Baik ah!!

T3 is soo boring. No life!

2010-04-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

On monday, i was so the semangat to finish up my data entry at work.
That never happen before because I always leave a whole stack for my other colleagues to do.

Today, I followed M.A.A to do errands.
And got meself a metal mulisha bag at profile.
Happy indeed.

And tomorrow is going to be a suuuuper long day, cos I got work
& I'm heading to alia chalet.

2010-04-10T16:33:00.004+08:00

I had better days than this.
Missing those times, which I felt so much more alive.
Why there's so much pain?

sigh......., where's your best friend when you need him?

p.s: before you give up, remember the reason why you held on for so long.

2010-04-10T01:24:00.001+08:00

Got ditch at night, for 2 straight days.
baik ah.

2010-04-09T19:36:00.000+08:00

screw you asshole.

2010-04-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday work was a bore.
T3s' environment is so solemn, and it kept repeating its music making it sound like a lullaby.
I was on the verge of sleeping at the counter and preparing to give a crappy face to a customer.
Plus, I have to chase after a boy who kept running inside the check-in belt.
And this sats lady scream at us for not taking care of him.
Like hello, we held no responsibility of the boy plus the luggage belt belongs to you, not us.
So whose the one responsible?
She has the chic to scold us some more, should have not apologise and let her chase the boy herself with her skirt and heels.
Serve you right.

Today, is interesting.
I met my ex-colleagues in Visual Studio.
They came to visit after an event at T2.
Thats basically the highlight of the day.
& I finally know how to use the NETS machine.
Noob much?

& I got another job offer, but I think I shall stick to this for now.
ahh *stretch* thank god tomorrow no work.

2010-04-06T23:16:00.003+08:00

Went to physical training at TP today with wolves.
I don't get to see them much anyways, so why not.
Anyway, I needed to burn some calories so today was worth it.
Plus we played soccer at the field.
It was hilarious.
Aku takut kene rembat bola, so every time dorang tendang atas, aku duduk menyangkung.
Best pe.
And every time they want to pass the ball to me, I said don't pass to me, but I'm running beside them as side lines. -____-"
Also when they want to defend our goal, I sit at our attacking side cos I lazy to run all the way.
hahahahaha.
So rule no 1, don't ask me play soccer.
Cos apparently I lost my touch. sad much.
At least we had a good laugh playing.

Anyhoos, I got my frolicks too thanks to alia and fan fan.

I'm off to sleep, tomorrow work 12 hours macam security guard, so tak cool.
Goodnight!

2010-04-06T01:26:00.002+08:00

I just bought a pair of jeans,
and shred it to look like its ripped.
But the annoying part is,
I can't fit into size 25 because my butts' too big.

Nicely....

p.s: i wanna be made into a motocross racer can? all thanks to mtv.

2010-04-04T20:05:00.003+08:00

Haliim's 20 bday!

Pasirian BBQ

I have no idea how many BBQs I've attend,
how many chalets I've been overnight-ing,
how many hours I've been working,
how many days I wish I could sleep in.

But with all that I'm happy & living the good life.

& I'm glad me & best friend are back in good terms.

& azri & I have gone a long way for 8 months and many more months to come.

=)

2010-03-31T00:28:00.002+08:00

A whole lot been happening these pass few days.
& I can't really be bothered to update what happened
because its been pretty hectic.

All I know, I can't wait for April,
its going to be sexciting.
And i'm pretty much sore now due to intensive physical training.
But I kinda like how I push myself to my limits and get nice body in the end.
heh..

I'm off to sleep.

2010-03-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

What a day today?
Quite an adventure.
Shall update about it when I'm less sleepy.
*yawns*

2010-03-23T00:55:00.002+08:00

I'm quite amazed on how a book really reflects me & Azri.
The Choice by Nicholas Sparks.
Interesting.
& i'm hooked to a book something which is not so Twilight.

Today was a well-spend day.
Apart from being screen my military police.
Sheesh, why must it always be us?
"Mam, I'm sorry you can't be here because its a private property"
Screw you la, I see no signs.

Off to reading back again.

2010-03-22T14:53:00.003+08:00

I'm actually quite content with my life right now.
Thanks to people I meet and friends whose helping me along the way.
Be it or small or big.

I'm trying to secure a job for 2 weeks.
Doing office work at kallang.
I kinda like it this way doing odd jobs, so as to
not get bored dealing with one for months.
=)

Plenty of events coming right up,
like swimming at sengkang, if the job don't require me to start right away.
Diploma Show, Pasirian BBQ, and 2 other chalet.
Sexciting!

& i'm off to clean my room filled with design portfolios. tsk tsk

p.s; eyeda have to yet to settle a day for mindscafe with itas people, hello...i'm waiting =p

2010-03-21T18:08:00.000+08:00

For the love of god, my macbaby is back.
Yay!

=)

2010-03-11T01:55:00.004+08:00

Why is it when something went well,
and then something else have to ruin it all over again?

Am I the only person who is going through this shit?
Cos I find it irritating.

p.s: I can't sleep! cos this is annoying train of negative thoughts is killing me!

2010-03-10T11:25:00.002+08:00

Every single time when I start to create a conversation with dad,
he starts to nag and find ridiculous reason to shut me up just like that.
Like how I just on the cpu to see how my cafeworld is doing,
not even 2 minutes and he starts nagging about doing school work.
Does he even know that i'm done with school?
Obviously not.

I gave up trying.

2010-03-09T16:29:00.002+08:00

Character for FYP cover:
The class Ms Popular.
=)

Off to Wolves training in TP.

2010-03-06T01:33:00.003+08:00

It's the time again, to think about what school to go next
after I graduate.
Was torn between going to australia, Laselle or NTU school of design.
Then again, I can't take emotional goodbyes too well, therefore scrap Aussie.
I was thinking of trying out for the other two.
Time to break out from my comfort zone,
like schooling in a place which is not in the east for instance.
Fees maybe expensive, but that's education for you.
All I need to do now is to come out with a VERY outstanding portfolio.
FML!

A year should be enough.
I have to stop being lazy.
This lazy thing....is just not working for me.

I shall start by uploading my assignments in the school portfolio,
continue design the school banner for free (that's why no motivation),
and refine Pasirian logo.

On another note,
friendlies with RVHS was interesting.
Its been awhile I played with the wolves..
xoxo

2010-03-05T01:54:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I feel like, I want out.
I feel very insecure and paranoid nowadays.

2010-03-04T01:35:00.001+08:00

Life's full of shits, no matter how far we run away we can never escape from it.
It has no ctrl alt del.

2010-03-03T22:46:00.002+08:00

You know what m.a.a you just fucking screwed a good day.
How annoying?
I'm in a good mood and in one minute you can screw it all over.
Congrats ah! congrats.

2010-03-03T19:51:00.003+08:00

Anyone can make you smile or cry,
but it takes someone special to make you smile
when you already have tears in your eyes.
That's M.a.a for you.
Happy 7'th month to us! Cheers love =)

On the side note,
I'm done with my external crit.
It went great. Well so I thought.
I hope that will help boost my grades.
And I can't wait to spend my very long holidays,
don't really know when I'm going to start school....
with my friends.
Yay to me!

TP, you're going to be missed.
I can't believe I'm gonna be done with poly.
It's 3 years already?
Holy crap.

2010-03-02T23:56:00.001+08:00

I'm not so sure about you people,
but the thought about me having to present again for my final year,
makes me pee in my pants.
I'm really hoping they're nice to me tomorrow.
Please god, please.
I don't wanna screw up anymore.

Watch Dear John with m.a.a today.
I swear the movie is emotional.
I can perfectly relate to it, if I chose to study in Australia next year.

Well hush now, don't think about it too much already.
Off to sleep.

Best of luck to me =)

2010-03-01T20:49:00.003+08:00

It's kinda sad to see your friends come and go,
due to bike accidents.
Up till now, some of them are still in i.c.u,
some recovering from serious injuries,
Some are already back up walking, driving.
And one died on her birthday few days after the accident.

Seeing this, make me realise, maybe having a bike license
probably not worth the risk.
Honestly, being a chic with a bike itself speaks a thousand words,
who wouldn't want the attention given by passerby while you ride by em?
I would.
Who wouldn't want to be the center of a conversation among your friends?
I gladly would.
In fact, its probably the easiest way to get around.
But seeing wasted lives, get thrown off due to accident just not worth the risk.

I'm hoping my loved ones will ride safely,
and stop getting yourself piss off due to inconsiderate drivers/riders.

Your life on the road, comes first.

p.s: may adilah's soul rest in peace & fifi, get well soon.
Although we're not that close, but we'll keep on praying.

2010-02-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

There was a day I remembered, you asked me what I like about you.
I didn't answer and only stare at you, because I don't know which to say first.

You know what I like about you;
- because you like to make spontaneous plans, it's like a surprise in the end,
we never know what we will get ourselves into.
- because you're very patient, truth be told I may not admit it in front of you,
but I told some of my friends these before, I'm actually quite hard to handle.
(even mum has problems)
- because you're quite a bimbo, people may find it dumb, I find it cute,
like really cute to the max punya.
- because you're gullible sometimes, I thought people your age should know better,
but I'm happy at least you're not mr-know-it-all.
- because you compliment me, I may say I know, pretend I don't hear,
but I secretly liked it.
- because you're adventurous, you're not timid, you like to try anything that's new,
that's good, we should never limit ourselves.
- because you're actually sensitive,
sometimes there's this little weakness in your eyes you trying to hide,
but you know i'll figure it out somehow, just like just now.
- because you actually make an effort changing your lifestyle to suit mine,
you're right, you're not who you use to be anymore,
but I think you're great this way, in fact way better that who you are before.
- because you do whatever it takes to make sure there's a smile on my face,
it only back fires when my ego took charge and ruin it.

You know, I can go a long way.
I may actually even want to write and doodle on a book,
to tell you how much I appreciate what you have done for me.
Blame it on my ego, my pms, I may seriously think that my ego is actually
so much bigger than yours.
Today, make me reflect on us.
Somehow or rather, its good that it happens,
because we both know we wouldn't want to say goodbye or farewell,
just yet.

<3>

2010-02-27T01:24:00.004+08:00

Just as I was about to be sexcited that I'm done with my final year project,
my lecturer called me up when I was bathing in pasir ris pri after floorball training,
what a good timing (the shampoo was already running into my eyes)
that I was chosen for external critic on wednesday 3rd march at 10 am.
This is a very BIG DEAL for me.

Firstly, I screw up my internal crit, and going for external with one ang moh lady,
and a local director as your critiques is as good as putting my head on the chopping block.
However, lecturer said, they could help to boost my grades.
Hopefully, but if got worse, screw you la eh.

Secondly, my presenting skill sucks.

Thirdly, I already hit rock bottom during internal crit when one of my lecturer
thinks its a bloody smart idea to be sarcastic during crit, funny ah?
I'm designing for gummy bears you douche bag, and you say look like dog food.
I already say my brief is for gummy bears, what part of gummy bears do you
not understand? Can see dog face at the packaging is it? weirdo.

So right now, I'm paranoid, that I may screw up again.
Praying that I won't. Cos I really want to graduate.

Apart from that, I'm doing freelancing logo for my floorball club.
Being a facilitator at yishun and at school.
Being paid at least 500 for 9 days.
Hoping that I may get the job for disney on ice.
Playing 30n3 floorball on 7 march at NLB.
If we win, 1st price is 300 bucks.
Not bad for starters. I'm progressing.
Money money in the bank!

That's probably an update of my life.
Quite happening ah?

heh

Need some sleep, later at noon is chill out day before the hectic part
come to budge in again. Nicely

p.s: I am kind of thankful.

p.p.s: I just found out that 1 of my friend got killed in a bike accident,
she died on her bday. and the other is paralyze since 2 days ago.
Hope their family members & herself are doing fine.
R.I.P

2010-02-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

See what the iphone do to you, steal your boyfriend away.
Girlfriends, if your boyfriend own an iphone make sure you get one yourself,
and download an app, that calls you names like sexy.
At least, it keeps you entertain as well.

=p

2010-02-22T08:13:00.003+08:00

I shouldn't be up so early.
I should continue sleeping without worrying
about things that do not concern me.
Such a waste of time trying to be considerate.

Fucktup monday!

2010-02-21T02:20:00.002+08:00

Vectorised m.a.a.
Cos I've got too much time on my hands as of now.
Until I got myself a part-time job.

You know what makes me happy today,
because at the end of the day you smile,
and said "I complete you".
=)

Goodnight.

2010-02-17T12:09:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel we should stop protruding others' people lives,
in order not to messed up ours.
Because what we see and what we may think may not be the intention of theirs.

I wish I could be carefree.
Worry less and care to whats matter most than tiny little things
that may destroy us.
I felt its a skill that I'm lacking.
Slowly and gradually, I'm getting there.
Ignorance is bliss, so says someone. True that.
100 million percent agree.

Goodnight!

2010-02-16T04:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish I never go back to sg,
only to realise that i have to bother with shit people give me.
I feel like studying in australia, leaving this nasty feeling behind me.

Fcuk! it's nearly 5 am and his not back yet
from wherever he is.
Inconsiderate!

p.s: Hello I'm fcuking sleepy. fcuk!

2010-02-16T00:37:00.006+08:00

Bintan trip was exactly what I needed.
I've been longing for a decent holiday right when fyp start.
It was madness fun.
Spending time with my cousins on a great place.
We swam on beaches, pools, surfing, volleyball, dodge ball,
card games, taboo, bbq-ing for 3 days straight for dinner.
Sunset and clear skies with gazillion shining stars.
What more could I ask for?

Surfer chic habis. well, at least there was a vast improvement compared
to the last time I tried it.

Gelap2 pon nak tan.

We don't know how to play it, but thats just make it more interesting.

Ladies ("v")

Ladies + a creep

pure coincidental, boyband wannabe

Candid group pic

My body is aching tremendously.
Massage anyone?

p.s: 4 more days to submission, final fcukingly =)

2010-02-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

I know by now i'm not in singapore,
but I wrote this post earlier before I sleep on 12 feb.
& I know I don't celebrate v day.
But wth, i'm sure you going to read this anyway.

Be my valentine, now, always & forever Azri?
Love, me ("v")

2010-02-12T00:25:00.002+08:00

I'll be going to bintan in awhile with my cousins only.
Have to reach the ferry terminal by 7.30 am.
I'm done with packing.
Will be in singapore by monday morning.
=)
Going to try to loosen up before my final submission and presentation.

Another note,
thank you for your peoples' concern on my grams.
She's getting a tad better indeed.
Alhamdulillah.

& i'm off to sleep.
xoxo

2010-02-11T00:05:00.002+08:00

Nobody makes me feel the exact same way,
m.a.a does.

Glad to have you by my side, always.

=)

2010-02-09T13:48:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile I pour my deepest thoughts here,
most of them have been small things that have been happening in life.
I miss writing here, I felt that this is a better medium to express my thoughts and fears.

As I sit down beside my grams, seeing her lying down on her bed,
tears of sadness and pain start to wet the top of my clothes, her clothes and the bed sheets.
Honestly, I try to give her motivation to keep going, to make her strong.
Truth be told, I'm not strong myself.
I keep having emotional breakdowns.
Listening to her call upon god,
asking him to take her away as soon as possible,
asking him to reduce her sufferings
was just too much for me to handle.
I don't wanna leave her by the bed alone,
but everytime I have to,
I wonder how long she will last in this world.

I'm good at playing pretend like everything is ok.
Good at putting a mask on my face.
I just don't know how long I can endure this anymore..

This....
Just breaks my heart.

p.s: She's not living, she's surviving.

2010-02-09T13:02:00.000+08:00

Read the lyrics.

2010-02-08T00:53:00.001+08:00

my boyfriend didn't realise he said something sweet on the phone.
it's been awhile, i'm going to cry now.

2010-02-07T21:14:00.003+08:00

I thought my bestfriend would do so much better in searching for a girlfriend.
But then again, I was wrong, he made a terrible decision.
His girlfriend looks like a bapok, straight up!
OMG!
That made my day seriously I swear.
When bestfriend says shes not pretty he really mean it ey.
Good gracious that was funny.....

okay, *wipe tears* too funny...

p.s: I kinda miss you bestfriend.

2010-02-07T02:49:00.003+08:00

Granny, please get well soon.
I can't bear listening to you groaning in pain anymore.
No more.

2010-02-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

The view at kent ridge look out point is amazing.
I enjoy cool nights, bright lights, clear sky at a top of a hill.
With good company =)

A good way to end a stressing day after printing
my first batch of projects.

Goodnight all.
xoxo

2010-02-03T23:56:00.001+08:00

No. 6 of korean floorball player was the cherry on top of my day.
Worth the long journey =)

p.s: congrats to singapore. you people make it look easy.

2010-02-01T12:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I was an emotional wrecked.
Putting that aside.

I wanna wish a HAPPY HARI TUE to Nurhida Ashur.
She's 20!
She's old!
and she's fat =)

G'day, and I'm off to school.

2010-01-31T17:13:00.003+08:00

Let's give a fcuk care attitude from now on, and see whether you can put up with me.

p.s: Do you enjoy seeing me hurt?

2010-01-29T00:34:00.001+08:00

Mistakes are ok, just don't make a fcuking habit out of it.

p.s: You're so close to make a full ass out of yourself.

2010-01-27T23:26:00.003+08:00

After spending my time in school,
trying hard to do my work,
despite having hurf, irfan, hida, feeks and alia as distraction,
I manage to do some research and finish up a few of my designing.

And got to spend my time with this bunch of annoyance
at macs.

Off to finish up my brand manual.

2010-01-26T23:26:00.003+08:00

Been awhile since I meet them.
Although, fahmy, hurf and pen can be ultra lame at times,
glad they make me happy after a long restless day.

Muke annoying.

xoxo

Off to sleep.

2010-01-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

My very last floorball game for TP was a hell of a ride.
Though it was very emotional and I puke all what I drank and eaten,
it was absolute fun.
I manage to score a goal after oh so fcuking long.
But sadly, referee say it was not counted.
But let by gones be by gones.
One phase of my life have just ended.

And I'm glad it happen.

p.s; nisa don't cry okay.

2010-01-24T23:55:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is going to be an emotional day.
Brace yourself.
Going to prepare meself a tissue box.

Off to bed, kinda dizzy.

uncovered lies

n-dubz we dance on (on repeat)

Parents spend the first part of their lives teaching us to walk andtalk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Thanks to all that have made my poly life a memorable and a fruitful one.

You're never forgotten. infinite x's & o's!

Parents spend the first part of their lives teaching us to walk and
talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.